There is only ONE SIN

I have been absent for too long..........I am back and I hope it sticks.

After talking to my nephew who has just came back from his most daunting task in his young life, attending National Service after his secondary education, it had prompted me to share this life's educational piece. I extracted this from Khaled Hosseini's book, "The Kite Runner".....

Only One Sin

There is only one sin
and that is THEFT!
Every other sin is a variation of theft

When you kill a man, you steal a life.
You steal his wife's right to a husband,
rob his children of a father.

When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth.

When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness.

There is no act more wretched than stealing,
a man who takes what is not his to take,
be it a life or a loaf of naan.

Theft was the one unforgivable sin,
the common denominator of all sin!!

The Last Lecture

After watching Randy Pausch's video presentation in Oprah's show (this link is on this blog topic "Live"), I was all very keen to share this inspiring topic with anyone who cares to listen. In my sharing journey, a friend loan me his book "The Last Lecture" .I was totally taken and awed by his 40 odd years of life journey. Randy Pausch was an extraordinary person on earth and when he passed on 25th July 2008, he has done more than most people who lived a full life or is still living...... he is an icon we should introduce to our younger generations.

In this simple 6-chapter book of his, I have gathered a lot of knowledge I have not gotten in any of my readings.....

I am so taken in by his joy of life; how he carries on happily facing death, how he never give himself a moment of self-pity, sadness, depress or morose which naturally will be faced by people who knows they only have months to live. Values that he lives by .... honesty, integrity, gratitude, joy, dignity and self-esteem and achieving his childhood dreams.......

These are a few of the wisdoms he imparted..... his invaluable gift to all who reads his book.

• ~~ doing the best you can with limited resources
• ~~ if you can dream it, you can do it
• ~~ when there's an elephant in the room, introduce it
• ~~ we cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand
• ~~ "I won the parent lottery" -- having good parents
• ~~ never make a decision until you have to
• ~~ just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean you have to run people over
• ~~"We know just how you feel, honey. And remember, when your father was your age, he was fighting the Germans." (this is a good one to use on complaining stress out kids... by changing the last phrase to suit the family background -- I particularly like this!)
• ~~ When you are screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you.
• ~~ many kids today are so coddled!
• ~~ I don't believe in the no-win scenario
• ~~ tenacity is a virtue
• ~~ The brick walls are there for a reason. And once you get over them - even if someone has practically had to throw you over - it can be helpful to to others to tell them how you did it.
• ~~ The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people.
• ~~ It's easy to look smart if you're parroting smart people
• ~~ People are more important than things
• ~~ automobiles are utilitarian devices, not expressions of social status
• ~~ No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse; at the same time, it is often within your power to make them better
• ~~ The truth can set you free
• ~~ Luck is where preparation meets opportunity
• ~~ Ernest is better than hip
• ~~ Let's make a deal
• ~~ Don't complain, just work harder
• ~~ Treat the disease, not the symptom
• ~~ Don't obsess over what people think
• ~~ Look for the best in everyone
• ~~ You are only as good as your words
• ~~ No job is beneath you
• ~~ Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
• ~~ Rights come with responsibilities
• ~~ All you have to do is ask

From all that I have learned from Randy and from his book "The Last Lecture" (you may get more from your different point of view), I would like to add a little of my own ....

"Go on those trips you've always wanted to take. Live in the moment, even if you or your close family do not have a terminal illness" In other words, do not wait for the inevitable before you put your dreams into action! Live and let live!

"Life"

I started by writing about "Death" which I do not think anyone who thinks they are in their right mind would want to talk about. However, I learn from viewing this video that "Death" is very much part of "Life".

The question here is whether anyone knows how to live? And.......

Talking about living..... I just came across this link from a forwarded email which I wish to include in this post so that we can keep this video handy and to be brought up every now and then to remind us how to live........its a lecture given by a man with 3 young children who has only a few more months to live due to pancreatic cancer.... an inspiring true life story.
Click here: http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=8577255250907450469&hl=en

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

Are you familiar with this term "Familiarity breeds contempt". Actually the more I think about it the more I agree with it. Indeed when people gets too familiar with each other, we see a lot of the less desirable.

For example, my friend was telling me that she knows a couple who live with each other for seven years and finally decided to marry but the marriage lasted only 6 months. Why? I am sure its not the mere marriage certificate that changes the situation; it must be the human factor that has changed! Someone certainly let down their guard with the stability of marriage.....

We are definitely more polite with mere strangers we meet than we are with our friends, worst still our spouses, children, siblings or family members we lived with. With people close to us, we tend to forget to say "please", "thank you" or a simple "may I". Why? Simply that familiarity breeds contempt......

Maybe we should start looking at the way we treat our friends and love ones and put some effort into how we relate with each other ... you may just make the world a better place for some....

Do you see the rain? Or maybe not.
Maybe it is such a familiar sight that we have taken it for granted!!

Stop once in a while to smell the flowers, appreciate mother earth.
Do not allow contempt to get you, nature is always there to awe you!!

The Best Eulogy

"Love the imperfections" ~~ This is one very good advice for a lasting marriage life. Instead of finding your other half's idiosyncrazies annoying, try looking at them with a different set of eyes or better still see them with your heart. Watch this youtube and you will understand what I am trying to say.........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx9ocubowMs&feature=player_embedded

Cry if you must but learn from it..... there is no perfect person in this world, admit it you are not perfect yourself so try not to be so picky.... life is too short!!

Revelation of Truth - Faiths

One of the pillars of life I strongly advocate to is "faith"! Then I read in Louis Fischer's "The Life of Mahatma Gandhi" and this particular paragraph highlighted itself to my full attention of which I wish to share:-

All faiths constitute a revelation of Truth, but all are imperfect, and liable to error. Reverence for other faiths need not blind us to their faults. We must be keenly alive to the defects of our own faith also, yet not leave it on that account, but try to overcome those defects. Looking at all religions with an equal eye, we would not only not hesitate, but would think it our duty to blend into our faith every acceptable feature of other faiths.

Louis Fischer further mentioned that this paragraph is a portrait of the Gandhi mind; he was the conservative who would not change his religion, the reformer who tried to alter it, and the tolerant believer who regarded all faiths as aspects of the divine. He was loyal yet critical, partisan yet open-minded, devout yet not doctrinaire, inside yet outside, attached yet detached, Hindu yet Christian, yet Moslem, yet Jew.

How interesting.... this character of our past.... The Mahatma Gandhi!

I Wish You Enough

A friend forwarded me this email about "I Wish You Enough" which is very meaningful. I want to remember the meaning of "I Wish You Enough" greeting so I am pening it here to write it on rock as well to share with whoever stumble on my blog and like what it is

The gist of the story is that someone overhead a mother and daughter bidding each other farewell and as the mother felt that it is a last time for her to bide farewell to her daughter, it was really a sad event. Both mother and daughter bid each other "I wish You Enough". And the meaning of this wish is.....

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final goodbye.

It is too much to say all these when you say goodbye to someone and it is so logical to cut it short yet it meant so much..... For those who reads this .... "I wish you enough!"

Beautiful Quote

.... the most unselfish act one can ever do
is paying forward all the kindness one has received
even to the most undeserved person....


Alley Cats taking a snooze......
Look..... how neatly they are piled together... so cute!Hey! You got permission to take our pic?
Please do not disturb!

Confidence, Trust & Hope

Got this in my email today.... it is so true......

Confidence
Once, all village people decided to pray for rain,
On the day of prayer, everyone gathered
and only one boy came with
an umbrella....
That's
CONFIDENCE

Trust
Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby
when you throw him in the air,
he laughs, because he knows you will catch him.
That's
TRUST

Hope
Every night we go to bed
we have no assurance to get up alive the next morning
but still you have plans for the coming day
That's
HOPE

Have CONFIDENCE, TRUST and never lose HOPE

Grandma's Hands

Grandma's Hands
by
Bill Withers

Grandma's hands
Clapped in church on Sunday morning
Grandma's hands
Played a tambourine so well
Grandma's hands
Used to issue out a warning
She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast
Might fall on a piece of glass
"Might be snakes there in that grass"
Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands
Soothed a local unwed mother
Grandma's hands
Used to ache sometimes and swell
Grandma's hands
Used to lift her face and tell her,
"Baby, Grandma understands
That you really love that man
Put yourself in Jesus hands"
Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands
Used to hand me piece of candy
Grandma's hands
Picked me up each time I fell
Grandma's hands
Boy, they really came in handy
She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy
What you want to spank him for?
He didn' drop no apple core"
But I don't have Grandma anymore

If I get to Heaven I'll look for

Grandma's hands

Yes, its a song... a beautiful and meaningful song by Bill Withers (listen to this song). But I was actually motivated by a forwarded email on a story about how grandma's hands were in good use; for prayers, for soothing, for assisting her to move around in her old age.... I suddenly realised that how important our hands are. And in honour of my grandma who has passed on years ago, I now take pictures of my mother's and sisters' and nieces' hands.......DO CARE FOR YOUR HANDS!!This is an original photo but not an original idea......

"Kiasu" Syndrome

Are you "kiasu" or "kiasi"? Do a survey; first on yourself, then among your friends. Ask yourself whether you are "kiasu" or "kiasi". For those who do not understand these terms; they are actually Hokkien (one of the multitude of Chinese dialects) coined to portray "afraid to lose - kiasu" and "afraid of dying - kiasi". If I am not mistaken, this started in Singapore due to the competitiveness of this small nation and they, the Singaporean are being labelled "kiasu" for their fear of losing out due to the smallness of their country - unfair but quite apt!

So the "Kiasu" syndrome has expanded to include "kiasi" and the like "kiaboh". I personally do not advocate "kiaboh" - meaning - fear one's wife, simply because it has a gender connotation and a personal attack on all men without their defence being called. Also, I do sincerely respect men who listen to their wives and pay due respects to them instead of those, chauvinistic types who treat their wives as mere second class.... so "kiaboh" is definitely not in my category of vocabs!!

So back to the question in time ~~ are you "kiasu" or "kiasi". For me, after some thoughts, I think (feel) that I am not afraid of dying but I probably would be more afraid of losing. I have always try to do better than others, I love to compete and win and there..... I am "kiasu"!!!! What about you??

William Arthur Ward

Here are some beautiful quotes by William Arthur Ward which can be used as pillars of our life...his timeless words of inspiration can help everyone understand life better, live better.....

Before you speak, listen

Before you write, think

Before you spend, earn

Before you invest, investigate

Before you criticize, wait

Before you pray, forgive

Before you quit, try

Before you retire, save

Before you die, give

~~

William A Ward

(1921-1994)

The pessimist complains about the wind;

the optimist expects it to change;

the realist adjusts the sails

~~

William Arthur Ward

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it

If you can dream it, you can become it

~~

William Arthur Ward

The mediocre teacher tells;

The good teacher explains;

The superior teacher demonstrates;

The great teacher inspires.

~~

William Arthur Ward

Study while others are sleeping;

Work while others are loafing;

Prepare while others are playing;

And dream while others are wishing.

~~

William Arthur Ward

Homeless with a Sense of Humour

I found these pictures in my email inbox, as always, another of the random forward mail but this one touches my heart. I wish to share and bring your attention to how resilient some people are. They may be down and out but somehow they found a cheerful and creative way of asking for help of which I admire greatly!!

Listening Skill

I was told that God gave us two ears and on mouth because He wants us to listen more than we talk. Somehow, I estimated that about 90% of the human race rather talk than listen. Listening is hard, it is hard for me too!

Some people practise "selective listening" ; they only listen to what they want to hear and this is a very common cause for communication breakdown, which further create misunderstanding and things being done the wrong way. Mistakes are then made........

One simple example was when we were discussing about our ailing mother ..... our 2nd elder sister was trying to explain to us about clear, murky or foamy urine; how we must observe our mother's urine in order to know about her physical health. But unfortunately, our youngest sister interjected cheekily that if you drink the household cleanser your urine will definitely be foamy!!

Everyone laughed!! The discussion was interupted. None of us were any wiser about how to recognise unhealthy urine.

Anyway, one can change the situation by just consciously pausing to at least listen until the speaker is finished with his "yakerty yak" before interupting with a question or to crack a joke!

Learn to listen consciously which is actually very simple if you control your brain from processing for that moment......... give it a try!!!

Filial Piety

I had a life experience and learned about filial piety recently when my mum has fallen very ill all of a sudden. As a chinese decendent, I was brought up with a lot of emphasis on being filial to the elders and it has always been what I valued most and want my next generations to have this value but in reality I have not been given an opportunity to put into practise what I have learned all my young years.

When my paternal grandmother was bedridden due to old age, my siblings and I took it for granted that she was waiting for her time. We took it that she will be cared for and my mother has taken up the task of caring for her full time for 2 long years. We (my siblings and I) just came to visit anytime at our convenience. We thought we were doing our duties and we were being filial as grandchildren.

Six months after our grandmother passed on, our father was diagnosed with cancer and also bedridden abiding for his time. Again my mother was left to care for him alone and we just came visiting. All because we already have our own families and own life to live.

When our mother was having a near-death experience, we (my siblings and I) regretted not doing enough for her and wanted a second chance. With the help of our most respected "Tutor", my family's divine power, she was brought back to us. We were all grateful but was in disarray as to how we can fit our lifes into hers, how we could devised a smooth plan to care for her while we can still have our own lifes.......

Things fall into place after some teething problems, for 7 siblings to agree is a hard task but amidst much disagreement, disappointment and many arguments, we managed to run our household with the least interruptions and be able to spend time with our mother who is now healthy except for the bedsore she acquired during the 3 days of unconsciousness.

We, 6 sisters and 1 brother managed so well, we are her driver, adviser, nurse, care-giver and loving children all blend in one. Even our elders sister who suffered from oesteo-arthritis managed to chip in doing the loads of household chores like cooking and washing while we assist in both caring for our mother's need as well as keeping her house sparkling clean with a happy atmosphere.

We find it a pleasure to keep her in comfort while she is healing and all of us do our part and tries not to step on each other's toes and we practise the "give and take" concept making full use of our individual potential; be it personal traits, talent and finance.

I can say my mother is a happier person before her illness..... and I felt that we have been given a second chance and we will have to make full use of it!!

History to keep

I was in Melbourne for 2 months and I found most endearing of Melbournian or rather in a broad sense the Australian, is their pride of their roots. They are really proud of their history!! Just to prove my point, these are two maps of Melbourne city; one drawn 170 years ago and the other is a current print, you will see that the names of the streets are exactly the same. They have such good sense of belongings that they do not see fit to change street names at all. There is nothing you can do to improve or change a historical fact!! Definitely not to change the street name just to honour someone else!!

A Tribute to the Golden Girls

A tribute to all the golden girls of the world! If any of you reading this can relate to the message in the above poster, then congratulations, I might say, you are wanted and needed. Be happy and live with what you have and have fun.

The Secret to a Happy Marriage

So, what is the secret to a happy marriage? The answer is so simply portrayed in this forwarded email that I thought if I don't pen it here, it would really really goes to waste!

To the WIFES of this world "BLESS YOU!"
and
To the husbands "YOU'RE BLESSED!".

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

Have a good laugh and while you are at it; wives ~ its good advice and its free; take it; husbands ~ if you see your wife knitting, crocheting, smocking like mad, say you are sorry... it is also good advice and it is also free; take it!! You are blessed that she knows how to do needlework....... or else ......

Your Right If You Live to 50!!

After living for 50 years and more, you have definitely earned the right to a lot of "privileges"!! Golden Girls have agreed to a few.....

After 50, one should....

live while you can
love while you can

spend time with love ones while you can
spend time with friends while you can

do things you enjoy
do things that make you laugh
do things that are fun
do things that you want to

live day by day .... but to the fullest!

And after 50, you have a right to.....

forget your appointment
ask for reminders
forget friends birthdays
say "no" to anything you are uncomfortable with

stop worrying about "what if"
stop crying over spilt milk
stop living for your children
let them live their lives, the way they know how
they will find their ways, just like how we did!

Forgetting is part and parcel of maturing and
then, just like one of my friends said so appropriately.....

If and when you remember .... it is a BONUS!!

Tips to stay young and happy!

Another one of those forwarded email......

1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight, and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle.
'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him or her!

6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself.
LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

And if you don't send this to at least four people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.
That's what I am doing..... sharing with anyone who care to read my blog ~~~ lol